Flats and Other Short Puzzles

• 1. DELETION (8)

  Our new ophthalmologist
  Once was a farmer
  And hasn't quite dropped that career.

  MOST surgery's capped by a
  Gritty MOIST poultice;
  You'll leave with an eyeful of ear.

  Solution

  cornmeal, corneal

• 2. PROGRESSIVE REVERSED TERMINAL DELETION (7)

  Trademarks surround us
  And sometimes they're mythical
  Characters drawn from ages past

  Like Nike for sneakers, and
  Most drivers know of a
  Company's NEXT of *FIRST for LAST.

  Solution

  Pegasus, usage, gas

• 3. REVERSED TERMINAL DELETION (7)

  Our writer friend is seldom stressed.
  He always seems refreshed because
  He has a SPINE to give him rest
  And has a NIP to give him pause.

  Solution

  hammock, comma

• 4. BEHEADMENT (9)

  This high school teacher will cut slack
  For poorly written doggerel,
  But Student X might be held back
  And that just does not augur well,

  For Student X is bad indeed,
  With verse he's proud he overdid.
  I've served my three, I will not read
  This VERBID one more OVERBID.

  Solution

  trimester, rimester

• 5. OVERLOADED BIGRAM CURTAILMENT (4 6, 8)

  For a cool summer citrus libation
  To refresh during meals or vacation,
  Take club soda, juice, gin,
  And mix sugar right in.
  I hope you enjoy this CREATION!

  Solution

  lime rickey, limerick

• 6. REVERSED TERMINAL BIGRAM DELETION (10) CONSONANTCY (9, 9)

  The creamy WORD was tasty
  But a little late we learned
  That it had been left out too long.
  Our stomachs now have turned.

  The news was quite unsettling
  And it had us in the dumps.
  We feared we'd spend all weekend long
  With bellies full of pumps.

  Our sadness was abated
  By some internet advice.
  Imagine our APERITIF --
  A TIRE will suffice.

  The cure arrived by plane in hours
  And worked (don't be a cynic).
  Ironic, though, that it was WIRED
  From the Mayo Clinic.

  Solution

  excitement, emetic; remoulade, airmailed

• 7. TRANSPOSAL (11)

  I have a ghostly girlfriend.
  We've ethereal relations.
  The fact, though, that she's ASTER
  Clearly RATES these situations.

  Solution

  ectoplasmic, complicates

• 8. LETTER BANK (*6, 11)

  The other day in algebra
  We studied SUBTLE theory.
  Or rather others did, I think;
  The groups just made me weary.

  And so I crossed the highway
  To the church, for something sensible
  But all I heard was TUBELESS,
  Equally incomprehensible.

  Solution

  Galois, glossolalia

• 9. REBUS (5-8 5 8 5 2 1 5 2 *6) (5-8, 8 = not MW)

      EGAAGGCGGESPTLSBOGFLUA

  When it comes to playing Scrabble
  I am just a fair beginner.
  Years ago, though, at a foreign
  Match I nearly was the winner.

  There we were, the last two left;
  'Twas Africa, the western part.
  Nervous as I drew my letters;
  Used all seven. What a start!

  Somehow on my second turn, I
  Chanced again to clear my rack.
  Thoughts of maybe being champion
  Sent chills up and down my back.

  Luck, though, cannot last forever,
  And regression to the mean is
  Foreordained, so my opponent
  Triumphed with her greater keenness.

  Nowadays, with work and family
  (And the NPL!) entreating,
  Scrabble time is hard to come by,
  Lest I give up sleep or eating.

  Yet, last week, a lucky draw of
  Tiles and a friendly layout
  Coincided and allowed me
  Providentially to play out

  "Quincunx" for a triple-triple,
  Bringing those familiar shivers.
  When I scan my Scrabble record
  I've had nothing quite so QUIVERS.

  Solution

  spine-tingling since bingoing twice in a final in Guinea
  [SP in ET, in GL, in GS, in ce B, in GO, in G twice, in AF, in AL, in GU, in EA]

• 10. REVERSED BIGRAM DELETION (3-6, 7)

  Hi there, Sue. I see you're wearing
  Quite the PINUPS. Ooh, how daring!
  That'll surely swivel each
  Guy's head all up and down the beach.
  But wait, it's got a glaring rip,
  So hopefully you have the SNIP.

  Solution

  two-piecer, receipt

• 11. REVERSED REPEATED DELETION (9, 7)

  Hinkally-Brinkally
  George Stephanopoulos
  Once only guested but
  These days he NINE,

  Bringing us bulletins
  Geopolitical;
  Was an unknown but now
  SEVEN's in line.

  Solution

  moderates, stardom

• 12. THIRD SOUND CHANGE (7, 8)

  Turkey jerky.
  Tasty treat.
  Cross of bird and
  Salty meat.
  Have you tried the
  Latest twist?
  CUBAN CUMIN
  Can't be missed.

  Solution

  pelican, pemmican

• 13. TRANSPOSAL (9 4, 5 8)

  To our friend's wedding we did go,
  Then to the after-party, though
  The lengthy OHM was much too slow
  Because of unsound traffic flow.
  A redesign by Uncle Joe
  By moving people to and fro
  Relieved the bottleneck. Bravo!
  Good thing that he's an HMO.

  Solution

  receiving line, civil engineer

• 14. LETTER BANK (9, 8 7)  (8 7 = not MW) PHONETIC METATHESIS (4, 7)

  Wanting something more impressive
  Lisa went to Dr. Gray.
  Known for being quite aggressive
  He made her a bit outre.

  Men (and women), Lisa learned,
  Would stare a lot her physique,
  So Lisa had her gifts returned
  And lived that way about a week.

  Then, though, Lisa missed the stares,
  So she asked Dr. Gray to PRIZE.
  Now she proudly flaunts her wares
  And basks in gifts of clothes from guys.

  But not just street clothes. No, they get her
  Lavish and immodest ZIPPER.
  As she says, "The less, the better,"
  Wearing just a PITCHER CHIPPER.

  Solution

  reimplant, intimate apparel; tiny, nightie

• 15. PASTEOVER (7)

  My wife maintains an iPod that's
  Replete with tunes from TV shows
  To match her moods. For buying hats,
  The theme from Lidsville, I suppose;
  Or Josie and the Pussycats
  For times when she is BOXES BOSE.

  (this was the introduction of a new flat type, the Pasteover, to the Enigma in Nov 2005)

  Solution

  feeling, feline

• 16. PALINDROME DELETION (7)

  The shuttle, they say, uses tiles of ceramic
  To guard against heat when returning.
  They look rather massive; the BURG used to make them,
  I'd wager, weighed more than a BURNING.

  Solution

  kiloton, kiln

• 17. LETTER BANK (8, 13)

  We're landing a rover on Venus.
  To do this we need quiet weather
  And thus we check both anemometers
  And couple the data together.

  But once in a while this fails us,
  And yes, this is one of those days,
  For one reads "dead calm" and one "E-MAILS,"
  Presenting us quite a MALAISE.

  Solution

  tornadic, contradiction

• 18. TERMINAL BIGRAM DELETION (10)

  Rickety Rockety
  Captain Chuck Yeager's known
  As the first RAY to fly
  In a SPRAYED bird;

  Zipping along at such
  Hypervelocity,
  When he said: "There it is!"
  Nobody heard.

  Solution

  supersonic, person

• 19. PHONETIC TRANSPOGRAM (5, 4 3) (GERMANE = 5)

  Do you have Vulcan flu? A stiff neck?
  McCoy can fix that in a sec.
  There's no magic wand or mystique,
  It's all GERMANE MANGER technique.

  Solution

  basic, sick bay

• 20. CONSONANTCY (8, 9) (HOOD = 8) PALINDROME DELETION (9, 5)

  When cataloguing space debris,
  Jerome's a bit obsessive. He
  Spied forty thousand HOODs AHEAD;
  The next will be his FLEECED this FLED.

  Solution

  asteroid, yesterday; millionth, month

• 21. ENIGMATIC REBUS (^5 ^7)

                         Ana kin

  I do not know what's wrong with me.
  Perhaps it's my dexterity.
  I zip my base both left and right
  And laser blast with all my might.
  I heed the well-known precept that
  States "Aim ahead, not where they're at."
  At times, to limit what's revealed
  I shoot a hole through my own shield.
  The foes, though, sidestep, drop, reverse;
  And clearing rows just makes it worse.
  However many times I try
  I just can't get that final GUY.

  Solution

  Space Invader [space in Vader]

• 22. PHONETIC TRANSDELETION (5 4, 6, 6, 5)

  I had a rare A sandwich at
  This quaint new B called Europe Bites.
  They D of decor that is flashy,
  Literally -- they use C lights.

  Solution

  roast beef, bistro, strobe, boast

• 23. REVERSED THIRD-SOUND CHANGE (6, 5)

  Have at this flat, a good time, and a seat.
  Ah yes, ADVANCE never fails to RETREAT.

  Solution

  zeugma, amuse

• 24. DELETION (7)

  A family doctor is my dad;
  An IP lawyer I, his lad.
  He spends his days inspecting FREEs
  And I spend mine inspecting FEEs.

  Solution

  patient, patent

• 25. PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (7, 4)

  One's family tree will display
  Significant B about A.

  Solution

  kinfolk, info

• 26. REPEATED-SOUND CHANGE (6, 7) (SISTINE = 6)

  Jest just enough and they'll call you SISTINE,
  But jest way too much and they'll call you "FIFTEEN."

  Solution

  jocose, jackass

• 27. CHANGE OF HEART (4, *9, 5, *3 *5) (*9, *3 *5 = not MW)

  Dubya ponders what to snack on;
  Chocolate, macadamia charm?
  Then the choice is simple, it's
  TWO Cookies from that Pepperidge Farm.

  Spends less time deciding that
  His lawyer would be good for SCOTUS.
  But they couldn't THREE the flame wars;
  Miers files her withdrawal notice.

  After Dubya's mulligan
  He nominates a favorite son.
  FOUR will soon be getting grilled
  Inside a building with a ONE.

  (published in December 2005)

  Solution

  dome, Sausalito, douse, Sam Alito

• 28. CONSONANTCY (10, 8) (CERISE = 10)

  The so-called "sweet science" might not use a lab,
  But some things its fans can CERISE:
  The heft of a hook, the jolt of a jab,
  The curve of a CRUISE -- all can please.

  (cowritten with Panache, as TIN PAN ALLIED)

  Solution

  appreciate, uppercut

• 29. REPEATED BIGRAM DELETION (8) (can be sung)

  He walks in each morning cool and slow
  And calls the LONGER teacher "Daddy-O."
  Charlie Brown, that Charlie Brown.
  A schoolhouse clown, that Charlie Brown.
  Though some think he's coarse, an idol's what I see.
  Chuck'll always be a real SHORTER to me.

  (cowritten with Panache, as TIN PAN ALLIED)

  Solution

  homeroom, hero

• 30. REVERSED CHOP 'N' SWAP (7)

  At Tin-Pan Arbitration
  We settle ONEs and flaps.
  We're hailed throughout the nation,
  Though sometimes talks collapse.

  Last week a client turned bright red
  And at a rival flailed.
  He smacked his foe right TWO the head.
  (With him we fear we failed.)

  (cowritten with Panache, as TIN PAN ALLIED)

  Solution

  dispute, upside

• 31. LETTER BANK (8, 16)

  LETTER BANK (7, 11)
  (BRAKE = 8; 11 = inferable)

  Have you heard the story
  Of famed Quasimodo?
  Well, here is its glory
  (Though not quite in toto).

  Each morning he'd shower,
  Perform other BRAKEs,
  Then head to the tower.
  He had what it takes

  To sound the big bell,
  Which he'd done for a while,
  And had, so they tell,
  A particular style.

  The bell had no core,
  Nothing swinging within.
  So Q'd run full bore
  And would strike with his chin.

  The Q-Man's rare feats
  Drew throngs seeking mirth.
  While VENDORs sold seats
  For three times their worth.

  One day as Q sped
  Toward the OVERDONE bell
  He chanced to mis-tread.
  Off the tower he fell.

  The crowd that had burgeoned
  To hear Quasi's BREAKER
  Then summoned a surgeon,
  But Q met his Maker.

  Once sadness abated
  And took with it shock,
  The townsfolk related
  The legend for Doc.

  "Quasimodo, you claim?"
  Doc said after a spell.
  "I don't know the name,
  But his face rings a bell."

  (cowritten with Panache, as PAN'S HORNS)

  Solution

  ablution, tintinnabulation; scalper, clapperless

• 32. WORD DELETION (9)

  The party when I turned COMPLETE
  Was (to my present knowledge)
  The biggest IN that I had ever
  OUT (at least till college).

  (cowritten with Sanit, as TINSANITY)

  Solution

  seventeen, event, seen

• 33. ENIGMATIC REBUS (5, 6)

                          A split

  "Cheerleaders never need math," Cindy mused,
  As all of this algebra left her confused.
  Often she'd question, but never improve;
  "What's a quadratic?" she CHEERLEADER MOVE.

  Solution

  asked, addled [A skedaddled]

• 34. PHONETIC METATHESIS (9, 7)

  If I had much greater abilities
  I'd probably write a large tome
  That questioned all nations' hostilities.
  I'd title it simply "MOWED DOME?"

  Solution

  wherefore, warfare

• 35. ENIGMATIC REBUS (9)

                        Fox show hot

  You ask me, "Is that Fox show hot?" Yeah, you bet!
  But religion and sex do not mix (well, not yet),
  So it's good we don't live in a SIMPSONS PIQUANT
  Or the show might be pulled by the powers puissant.

  Solution

  theocracy [The O.C. racy]

• 36. PALINDROME BEHEADMENT (*3 *7) (AMAZING = not MW) PALINDROME DELETION (5 6) (BREEZED = not MW)

  There's nothing quite like, you will hear us both saying
  A nonstandard burger while music is playing.
  The burger's not cow on a bun, but instead
  It's much more eclectically ZING in a BRED.

  The music to complement, only two choices.
  One is AMAZING, whose purest of voices
  On "Crying" seems just the right balance to us.
  Or else try a BREEZED (Ludwig wrote thirty-plus).

  (cowritten with Jangler, as TINGLER)

  Solution

  Roy Orbison, bison; piano sonata, pita

• 37. REVERSED PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (5-4, 6)

  Bill and Bob were best of friends,
  A NOMAD pair by all reviews.
  They even knew the colors of the
  AMMOs of each other's shoes.

  Solution

  close-knit, insole

• 38. REBUS (11)

                          E&E

  I gave my Valentine some chocolate,
  Having heard that it contains
  Compounds that can cause euphoria
  As they course around our brains.

  She looked at me with loving eyes;
  Her heart, quite clear, all pitter-patter.
  "Me, or just the SOL?" I asked.
  She answered, "Does it really matter?"

  Solution

  anandamides [an "and" amid E's]

• 39. HEAD-TO-TAIL SHIFT (5) (SANDY = not MW)

  The ANDYS of Mandy
  And Patti list *SANDY.

  Solution

  Evita, vitae

• 40. REPEATED-LETTER CHANGE (7)

  Buster the Clown notes he's cheap, but not free.
  He'll do something OREO for a PREP fee.

  Solution

  comical, nominal

• 41. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (7)

  The outlook wasn't brilliant,
  To the Mudville crowd's chagrin.
  With Casey down by two whole strokes
  Things couldn't have been IN.

  And then when Barrows parred 18,
  The treacherous par 4,
  The home fans knew that Casey had
  Just two shots, nothing more.

  But Casey stepped up to the tee
  And swung with all his soul.
  The ball took flight, and rolled, and stopped
  Just inches from the hole!

  He strolled the fairway to the green
  Amid the roared response,
  And smiled as he tapped the ball
  With boundless nonchalance.

  Oh, somewhere in this favored land
  The sun is shining bright;
  The band is playing somewhere,
  And somewhere hearts are light,

  And somewhere men are laughing,
  And somewhere children shout;
  But there is no joy in Mudville --
  Mighty Casey missed an OUT.

  Solution

  grimmer, gimme

• 42. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (5 11)

  "Rover's fine, so please don't fret,"
  Remarked the reassuring vet.
  "But still, we need to check his heart,
  So hold him while I get my CHART."

  Solution

  pooch stethoscope

• 43. THIRD-LETTER CHANGE (6)

  Hot asked Tin if he could pen
  A CHIT-composer flat.
  Tin checked out the base and then
  Said "Sure, that should be CHAT."

  (cowritten with Hot, as HOT TIN ROOF)

  Solution

  double, doable

• 44. FIRST-LETTER CHANGE (6)

  When Wonka was set to retire
  He sought an admirer to hire.
  He chose five at TWEETS
  From all of his SWEETS
  And Charlie prevailed at the wire.

  Solution

  random, fandom

• 45. OVERLOADED HOMONYM (9, 9) (one is inferable)

  Where's the flight attendant now?
  I'm sure it's been at least an hour
  Since I asked her for some water;
  Still no clearance from the tower.

  Man, the air is really dry.
  This airline travel's just the worst.
  And can't I get a Sprite or juice,
  Or something cool to slake my thirst?

  But no, we linger, tarmac-stuck.
  Why won't they let our plane take off?
  I guess I'm doomed to sit here and
  Just wait in vain for my SMIRNOFF.

  Solution

  departure, deparcher

• 46. SPOONERGRAM (6 5, 7 5) (6 5 = HOLY SEE)

  Just look at all these clergymen,
  An undisputed HOLY SEE.
  But space is tight, and bumping leads
  To wrinkles. Look, a SOLELY HE.

  Solution

  priest cadre, creased padre

• 47. PHONETIC METATHESIS (9, 9)

  The star RELIEVED performer
  Had a tragic, fatal fall.
  It looks a lot like suicide;
  A note was found, and all.

  The author, though, REVEALED the note,
  So things are looking down.
  We cannot tell if it's from him
  Or some demented clown.

  Solution

  tightrope, typewrote

• 48. PHONIGMATIC REBUS [27 64]

  I made a break and hit some banks
  And pretty soon had pockets padded.
  Then the SO LONG stopped behind
  The darn five hundred twelve; I'd had it.

  Solution

  cue ball["cube all" -- all numbers have been cubed]

• 49. PHONETIC DELETION (9, 7)

  Rosin? Yes. Rock stop? Yes.
  Music? Of course.
  So goes the SAUCE as she
  Runs through her SOURCE.

  Solution

  checklist, cellist

• 50. OVERLOADED TRANSPOSAL (12, 6 6)

  The quack was peddling glycogen.
  He said it cures all ills.
  But anyone with half a brain
  Would know to shun his SKILLS.

  Solution

  charlatanism, animal starch

• 51. ALTERNADE (*6 ^6)

  While flying from L.A. to Vegas,
  I looked out and vaguely quipped
  To my dear wife, "Why don't we buy
  A house down there?" She almost flipped.

  "Are you insane? We're TWO the WHOLE
  There's nothing here for miles!" she squealed.
  I sighed, "My point was ONE in THREE,"
  And turned back to my flats, lips sealed.

  Solution

  Mojave Desert, made, over, jest

• 52. ENIGMATIC REBUS (*5 *3) (not MW) (reading includes NI3 spelling)

                       bird I fish

  WINGS AND FINS
  swings and wins.

  Solution

  Ernie Els[ern, I, eels]

• 53. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (5, 7)

  Though once pre-med I turned pre-law
  (Another of my real-life tales),
  So sometime in my junior year
  'Twas "SORRY, DAD!" and "Hello, scales!"

  Solution

  adieu, caducei

• 54. PASTEOVER (8, 3 4)

  I passed my opponent just points from a win,
  When suddenly things took a turn for the worse.
  My foe grabbed the score board and threw it at me,
  Thus pegging me right in the PIKE -- call a nurse!

  It knocked the breath out of me, not a surprise,
  But what doesn't kill me just makes me more bright.
  And now I know more than before we began:
  Don't ever play POKER for money with Dwight.

  Solution

  cribbage, ribcage

• 55. TRANSPOSAL (*7 7, 6 8) (FLORA = *7 7 = NI2 findable) (FAUNA = NI3)

  When hunting for game birds,
  A good rule of thumb
  Is hide in some stinkweed
  (That's FLORA to some).

  The fowl will not sense you;
  You'll seem an ephemera
  To birds like the FAUNA
  (Lophura nycthemera).

  I hope you'll agree that
  The base words, while rare,
  Were too good to skip,
  So I gave them some air.

  Now go have a cold one
  Or play some canasta;
  I've flattened this base here,
  So no one else hasta.

  Solution

  Thlaspi arvense, silver pheasant

• 56. HEART TRANSPLANT (9, 4, 6, 7) (TWINS = 9)

  I need to buy TWINS;
  My couch has a TEEN
  Because of a slip
  From something quite keen.

  But that's for the TINS,
  I can't buy stuff yet.
  My income's been TWEENed;
  I'm deeply in debt.

  Solution

  furniture, gash, future, garnish

• 57. DELETION (9)

  I'll mount your precious photos with
  Exquisite silk filets.
  On acid-free TRADE paper they
  Will last for countless days.

  But even if you don't use me
  I simply must entreat --
  Don't patronize my TIRADE who
  Competes across the street.

  Solution

  archrival, archival

• 58. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (7, 5)

  Those who do not work toward LASE,
  Pay with war as their LIAISE.

  Solution

  penance, peace

• 59. LETTER BANK (4 7, *4 *6 *5) (CUT CORNERS = not MW)

  If you need some money
  One thing you can do,
  Is head to Las Vegas
  And try a CONSTRUE.

  If gambling is not
  An appealing pursuit,
  Then marry a rich guy --
  The CUT CORNERS route.

  Solution

  slot machine, Anna Nicole Smith

• 60. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (11, 8) (8 = NI3)

  I just tried a sandpiper sandwich,
  The flavor was truly a treat.
  The texture, however, was awful;
  I don't like the BELLE of BEE meat.

  Solution

  stringiness, tringine

• 61. PADLOCK (5, 9; 6)

  A nice filet,
  Some hot Earl Grey.
  The grill is busted?
  ANDY rusted?
  With a sigh,
  I guess I'll HY
  For minute HAND
  And Lipton, canned.

  Solution

  steak, teakettle; settle

• 62. ENIGMATIC REBUS [7 6] (reading includes non-MW material)

                       CZYSVON

  Veruca Salt
  Was CHOCOLATE MALT --
  Her parents' fault.

  Solution

  spoiled rotten
  [SPOILED ROT-10] [ROT-10 = code that shifts letters forward 10 spaces]

• 63. FREEWHEELING LETTER BANK (9-6, ^3 ^10 2 ^5 ^7, ^11 2 ^6 ^4) (9-6 = 11C inferable, more or less; others not MW)

  Most modern writers fill their works
  With sentences quite incomplete.
  I'm fine with one, but two or more
  Will scare me whiter than a sheet.

  For anyone who's BANK like me,
  I recommend a classic taste.
  You can't go wrong with Wilde or Proust,
  So pick up ONE or TWO posthaste.

  Solution

  fragments-phobic
  The Importance of Being Earnest
  Remembrance of Things Past

• 64. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (9 5)

  When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
  Will we confront some high tribunal's looks,
  Defending earthly deeds at some EMBROIL?
  (Apologies, perhaps, to Albert Brooks.)

  Solution

  afterlife trial

• 65. PHONETIC PHRASE SHIFT (4 4)

  Playing golf with Bueller's teacher,
  I was out in 33.
  That was surely the MAIN FEATURE
  That I ever had. Yippee!

  Solution

  best nine [a la Ben Stein]

• 66. REVERSED REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (8, 5)

  To leap Marty forward by tons,
  Doc Brown knew he needed big guns.
  Good thing he was TWO
  That lightning'd come through
  With point-oh-oh-one-two-one ONEs.

  Solution

  terawatt, aware

• 67. CHOP 'N' SWAP (7)

  My neighbor's skilled at simple jobs,
  Though quite impatient, too.
  He's not above exchanging tools
  To help him zip right through.

  To cut a pipe he starts out fine,
  Without much fuss or clamor,
  But if his SYSTEM proves too slow
  He STEMS it with a hammer.

  Solution

  hacksaw, whacks

• 68. FIRST-LETTER CHANGE (5)

  The flop came down ace, seven, three,
  And the neophyte bristled with glee.
  He pushed in his stack,
  But his JACK was too HACK,
  So the expert said "fold" and not "see."

  (cowritten with En, as Tinhen, at the 2006 NPL Convention)

  Solution

  wager, eager

• 69. BACKSWITCH (5)

  A very bohemian farmer
  Was building a scarecrow for fun.
  He thought it would hang in the MoMA,
  And never outside in the sun.

  He used avant-garde things to make it
  To further his FORWARD design.
  He dressed it with costumes from Wicked
  And stuffed it with scripts, not REWIND.

  (cowritten with Jennifer, as Tinnifer, at the 2006 NPL Convention)

  Solution

  artsy, straw

• 70. PHONETIC CHOP 'N' SWAP (8, 6)

  While hiking through the German Alps,
  I stopped and set my SEASICK down.
  Some rotten SIX appeared and stole it.
  Gearless, I returned to town.

  Solution

  rucksack, crooks

• 71. PADLOCK (9, 7; 4)

  I have had it with my dentist.
  My respect for him is null.
  He pokes round my buccal RIGHT SIDE
  While his instruments are dull.

  You would think he'd know to LOCK them.
  His diploma is a crock.
  He does not deserve a LEFT SIDE;
  It's a farce to call him "Doc."

  Solution

  honorific, orifice; hone

• 72. FIRST-SOUND CHANGE (7, 7)

  I've MINCEd a few hints
  So this flat is not CHINTZ.

  Solution

  include, unclued

• 73. ENIGMA (*10)

  To muchos I have brought great glee.
  I've been around the world, you see.
  Place just one letter after me
  To manifest containers three.

  Solution

  Cantinflas [can/tin/flas(k)]

• 74. REBUS (^11) (not MW usage)

                              EME                        p

  He got the desk job; then, with flair,
  He bought his girl a solitaire
  So they could finally start their life of bliss.

  But soon their plans would all explode;
  The ring on eBay they'd unload.
  For he'd get himself fired — too much THIS.

  Solution

  Minesweeper [M in Es, wee Pe r(ight)]

• 75. PHONETIC CURTAILMENT (4 4, 7)

  I like my eggs TROUSSEAU.
  They come from TRUCE, you know.

  Solution

  over easy, ovaries

• 76. SECOND-SOUND CHANGE (6, 3 4) (stress shifts)

  Say, would you like to receive Chinese food?
  Then HOP in the HYPE-of-the-month club, dude!

  Solution

  enroll, egg roll

• 77. REVERSED WORD DELETION (8)

  The cycle of life.
  Soon, in a pond where frogs spawned,
  SHELL YOLK become EGGs.

  Solution

  polliwog, goop, will

• 78. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (8, 6)

  Sin tax can be used to OPEC
  People through the means of KOPECK.

  Solution

  commerce, coerce

• 79. METATHESIS (5)

  We face off, head-to-head.
  The flop is jack, four, three.
  One club, one spade, one red.
  Two bullets held by me.

  Club ace, heart five come next.
  I think I have him beat.
  But when he grins and bets,
  I FETE he has a FEET.

  Solution

  educe, deuce

• 80. REPEATED-TRIGRAM DELETION (10, 4) (10 = inferable, 4 = NI3)

  Last night, a jungle shower
  Loosed tree sap with its power,
  Which coated fauna of three toes or more.

  What’s strange about the rain, it
  (Though no one can explain it)
  Left each and every FOUR-HERE NOT-THE-FOUR.

  Solution

  unbedaubed, unau

• 81. SECOND-TO-FOURTH CHANGEOVER (7, *7) (SNOODS = *7 = not MW usage)

  Just watch as she dances
  Her Twists, Jerks, and SNOODS,
  And shakes her, um, SYNODS
  (The right term eludes).

  Solution

  Watusis, whatsis

• 82. REVERSED DELETION (*9, 8) (GLIB = NI3)

  Spices today can be
  Purchased in stores.
  But once they were money
  And might have caused wars.

  When England was conquered
  In 1066,
  Perhaps the GLIB people
  Desired BIG sticks?

  Solution

  Normannic, cinnamon

• 83. REVERSED TERMINAL-LETTER CHANGE (8)

  If he were a DOLLAR instead of a mix,
  Then *HALLOW might have just one head by the Styx.

  Solution

  purebred, Cerberus

• 84. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (10 8) (follow-up to a similarly themed flat)

  I coached, well, once upon a time,
  The team cut down while in its prime.
  But now I find myself, midst gloom,
  In charge of ordering their tomb.
  I stem my tears and write a check,
  As somberly I make this WRECK.

  Solution

  sepulchral purchase

• 85. TRANSPOSAL WNFR (11, *6 5) (*6 5 = NI3)

  Had Kant been a Beaverton botanist . . .

  Solution

  prolegomena, Oregon Maple

• 86. REVERSED TERMINAL DELETION (*7, *5) (*5 = not MW)

  Casper worships Star Trek, so
  A bronze of ON was raised in SNOW.

  Solution

  Wyoming, Nimoy

• 87. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (*5 *5 14) (*5 *5 = not MW)

  She got no percentage on Ghostbusters II?
  I wonder who handled the ROOM WITH A VIEW.

  Solution

  Annie Potts representation

• 88. OVERLOADED TERMINAL-SOUND CHANGE (5 5, 8) (5 5 = not MW)

  I drove my little souped-up Ford
  (Produced in 1932)
  To a Moroccan restaurant.
  Oh, how I love that DÉJÀ VU.

  Solution

  deuce coupe, couscous

• 89. TERMINAL-SOUND CHANGE (7, 8) (7 = SPRUCE)

  My mother never seems to learn.
  She always tells me where to turn.
  Go faster, slower, right-on-red!
  My trips with her are full of dread.
  Can’t someone cure her? Are docs striving
  For a SPRUCE for UPROOT driving?

  Solution

  vaccine, backseat

• 90. FALSE STEP (6, 6)

  Just one false step and, sure enough,
  That HIGHER sends me off a bluff.
  I text some notes in hopes there’ll be
  Someone here soon to LOWER me.

  Solution

  rescue, miscue ("re" to "mi")

• 91. FIRST-TO-SECOND-SOUND CHANGEOVER (*6, 9)

  Had girl and boy not taken drastic steps,
  Her father would have locked her out of reach,
  To keep apart the duo so in love
  And to the boy a feud-born lesson teach.

  She might have ended sealed up in a tower,
  Or down in some aphotic, secret CRY.
  And we might not have had the chance to read
  About the tragedy of star-crossed SKY.

  Solution

  Juliet, oubliette

• 92. OVERLOADED PALINDROME DELETION (9)

  At Transylvania College,
  In night school, I suppose,
  The grades they give each KNOWLEDGE
  Are A’s and B’s and O’s.

  Solution

  undergrad, undead

• 93. REVERSED TERMINAL-LETTER CHANGE (7)

  Those SMALL who fail tests in extinguishing arts,
  Deserve to get FLAMEs in their permanent charts.

  Solution

  firemen, demerit

• 94. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (6 10)

  He scolded the skating girl bringing him fries.
  She went to her boss, streaming tears from her eyes.
  The boss gave the patron a painful surprise.
  And that was the last time they saw the GOODBYES.

  Solution

  carhop reproacher

• 95. PALINDROME DELETION (9)

  Be sure to use a macro lens
  When shooting small, round fruits,
  Or else you may well end up with
  Some pics of ASE ASTUTEs.

  Solution

  blueberry, blurry

• 96. SPOONERGRAM WE NEVER FINISHED READING (*3 *6, *3 5) (*3 *6 = not MW; second *3 = not MW)

  A second-rate production of To Kill a Mockingbird
  Was staged down in the Hundred Acre Wood . . .

  Solution

  Boo Radley, Roo badly

• 97. PADLOCK (3, 7; 8)

  My footwear has a Day-Glo COWED,
  And now Juan’s quip is spreading;
  He said, “Your CODINGs are so loud,
  They’re giving me a WEDDING.”

  Solution

  hue, earache; huarache

• 98. REVERSED BEHEADMENT (9) (WISP = NI3)

  The X-ray that you took should show
  One depth in focus crisp.
  Yours barely meets that standard, so
  At best it’s a PSI WISP.

  Solution

  planigram, marginal

• 99. CURTAILMENT (11)

  With tables filled, we strode a
  Path to stools up near the soda
  Jerk. “A Triple Root Beer Float!” I boldly said.
  But my wife MORALEd that order:
  “He’ll have just a glass of water.”
  So the MORAL set down H2O instead.

  (cowritten with Zebraboy, as Horned Zebra)

  Solution

  countermand, counterman

• 100. REVERSED THIRD-TO-FIFTH CHANGEOVER (9, 4-5)

  And down the stretch race croc and snake.
  They’re neck and neck now. Holy smokes!
  My blood runs cold. Looks like we’ve got
  A bona fide ONE TWO here, folks!

  Solution

  reptilian, nail-biter

• 101. DELETION (6)

  The judge was caught accepting bribes,
  And for that crime was tried.
  He got a chance to see the system
  From the other side.

  His sentence was hard labor,
  Turning boulders into FLEET.
  He’ll be there till the end of time —
  They make him use his FEET.

  Solution

  gravel, gavel

• 102. PHONETIC DOUBLE-CROSS (7, 5, 9, 5)

  Sue is a SECOND of everything campy,
  Thus clearly a big fan of FIRST night at bars.
  She entered a contest and crooned something vampy,
  Outscoring her rivals in most rounds by far.

  But then in the finals, her score was just smaller
  Than that of some guy who sang “Here Comes the Sun.”
  FOURTHly for Sue, though, the contest rules called for
  A THIRD of her points from the semis. She won!

  Solution

  karaoke, lover, carryover, lucky

• 103. REVERSED REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (7) (DRAG = inferable usage)

  The GEARED tried to quit,
  So got on the wag-
  On. Soon he fell off
  And promptly got DRAG.

  Solution

  tippler, relit

• 104. REVERSED CURTAILMENT (6) (with a get-well card to Jan. 2007 #34)

  Jan. 34 did disclose
  Our poor Tahnan’s trephine-based woes.
  But my turn came later;
  They ALPHAed my BETA
  Right out from under my nose.

  Solution

  remove, vomer

• 105. PHONETIC METATHESIS (7, 9)

  If you breathe in CHARMING gas
  You won’t be MARCHING long, alas.

  Solution

  noxious, conscious

• 106. REVERSED CONSONANTCY WNFR (9, 10)

  A breakthrough in snakebite elixirs . . .

  Solution

  antivenin, innovation

• 107. LETTER BANK (8, [*6 *6] 4) (OMISSIONS = not MW)

  Last year you had to be 10 on the nose
  To pitch or play other positions,
  But now that the range goes from 8 up to 12,
  We’re fielding a SIMON OMISSIONS.

  Solution

  multiage, Little League team

• 108. CONSONANTCY (7, *8) ( *8 = STRAY = not MW)

  Dibbledy-Dubbledy,
  Pamela Anderson
  Is a blonde tresses
  An’ melons parade;
  She would STAR as a STRAY
  Resuscitationist;
  Men wanted seconds of
  C.J.’s first aid.

  (written for the 2007 flat competition, requiring the verse to
  contain a name and a transposal of the name)

  Solution

  bewitch, Baywatch

• 109. REVERSED CURTAILMENT (6) (BEGUN = NI3 form of 11C word)

  “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” is DONE
  My favorites of common BEGUN.

  Solution

  gnomae, among

• 110. TRANSPOSAL (12, 8 4) (HOT = 8 4 = NI3)

  This thing in front of me exists,
  If I am here or not.
  I push and pull it — it resists;
  It certainly has HOT.
  But some believe this view has flaws,
  Preferring various THO
  That teach the thing is here because
  My thinking makes it so.

  Solution

  antirealisms, inertial mass

• 111. OVERLOADED DELETION (7)

  Another heist done.
  Was the getaway clean?
  The recidivist’s life
  Is a dreary routine.
  He’ll be collared again,
  But for now he just sits
  In his overstuffed chair
  Between RECOMMITs.

  Solution

  armrest, arrest

• 112. LETTER BANK (10, 6 2 8) (PREPARE = NI3)

  I bought what he said was PEAR property,
  Since I treasure the sand and salt air.
  When I found out the land was in Kansas,
  I filed a suit for PREPARE.

  Solution

  beachfront, breach of contract

• 113. TRANSPOSAL (12) (MIDAS = inferable)

  In carnal ways I like it rough,
  And also threesomes; that’s the stuff!
  So you can bet I go insane
  Whenever two MAIDS MIDAS pain.

  Solution

  dominatrices, coadminister

• 114. DELETION (9) (SIG = inferable)

  Kreskin’s name’s the first on mine,
  And then comes Uri Geller’s.
  All in all I’ve noted nine
  Of these uncanny fellas.
  You’ve also penned a set of SIGHs,
  And Joe has one, so dig:
  To help keep track, let’s itemize
  All three within one SIG.

  Solution

  mentalist, metalist

• 115. PHONETIC PADLOCK (*7, 6; 3)

  If you get arrested due to
  Some SEEM act of crime,
  Remember that your PRICY rights
  Allow you to keep PRIME.

  Solution

  Miranda, random; mum

• 116. PARTIALLY OVERLOADED PHONETIC TWO-WORD DELETION (8; 3, 4, 5) (CHOCK-FULL = 8, 4, and 5; 8 = NI3)

  My limb-joint feels much better, Doc.
  There’s no more CHOCK-FULL pain, let’s knock
  On wood. So, how much do I HOCK?

  Solution

  anconeal; owe, knee, ankle

• 117. PHONETIC PHRASE SHIFT (5 4) (spun off from June 21)

  In the Mexican soap Horneando el Pan,
  We see lovely Inez with revealing garb on.
  She quaffs down a beer as she gets her things ready —
  The water, yeast, flour and other stuff bready.
  Then, after the mixing and time to let rise,
  She kneads and she rolls with desire in her eyes.
  Inez can make MUFFINS like no one before.
  The show should be rated an X (if not more).

  Solution

  dough sexy (from Dos Equis)

• 118. REVERSED FOURTH-LETTER CHANGE (7)

  Stephen Colbert, every night,
  Belches portent from the right.
  Fearless. Stalwart. Patriotic.
  (Could it be the show’s parodic?)
  Other hosts are maudlin oxes,
  Oozing sentiment that’s noxious.
  Stolid Stephen speaks dispassion —
  Just fake news, no NONTAR RATION.

  Solution

  noisome, emotion

• 119. SECOND-SOUND CHANGE (6, 5) (CRUISE, CLUES)

  If you were somehow on a CRUISE,
  You’d never be at rest.
  If you, instead, were on a CLUES,
  You would be, I suggest.

  Solution

  photon, futon

• 120. PHONETIC REVERSAL (5, 6) (SIGN = 6 = NI3)

  I find rather strong tea divine.
  Long brew times for me are just fine.
  I could toss, bake, and slice,
  And eat half of a NICE,
  While my favorite Darjeeling’s still SIGN.

  Solution

  pizza, asteep

• 121. REVERSED DELETION (8) (MORE = NI2+)

  In a haystack LESS are MORE;
  Thus we have that metaphor.

  Solution

  seldseen, needles

• 122. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (11 9)

  It’s what you say, not word-count,
  That decides what you convey.
  Thus, brevity does not obscure;
  Conversely, nor does GRAY.

  Solution

  lengthiness enlighten

• 123. TRANSPOSAL WNFR (*12, 4 8) (*12 = NI3)

  Wood warblers flying at 0.9c . . .

  Solution

  Mniotiltidae, time dilation

• 124. LETTER BANK (9, *6 *8, *11 7, 8 11) (SINE, NINES, SEINE, SENSEI) (SINE = NI3; NINES = NI2; SEINE = inferable)

  Kids, be the first on your block
  To own an Ant Farm that will shock!
  These ants are intelligent breeds,
  Who gather up fossilized seeds!
  To locate such SINEs the ants know
  To move earth with a SEINE -- apropos!
  And one who has grander designs
  Like Napoleon (we've dubbed him the NINES)
  Runs constant high-energy tests
  With a SENSEI he built in their nests!

  (one of the five comic-book-ad flats for the cover of the Nov 2007 Comics edition)

  Solution

  carpolite, Little Corporal, Caterpillar tractor, particle accelerator

• 125. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (8)

  We played croquet with Atom Ant.
  He used, of course, the CHIANTI CHANT.

  Solution

  smallest, mallet

• 126. TRANSPOSAL (*5-*5, 10) (ONE = not MW)

  With Troll and Buzzard by her side,
  ONE shines in equal-sided panels.
  Thus, in TWO shapes, true and tried,
  She’ll enter cartoons’ hallowed annals.

  Solution

  Broom-Hilda, rhomboidal

• 127. TERMINAL-LETTER CHANGE (*7, 7) (*GROUPER = not MW)

  Fishlike TROUPES on GROUPER’s tunic
  Help him glide through seas cartoonic.

  Solution

  Aquaman, squamae

• 128. TERMINAL-LETTER CHANGE (*7, 7) (*DEER = not MW)

  The cartoon *DEER that grace the pages
  Of a certain magazine
  Might favor skirts with micro HEELs
  If ever undisrobed they’re seen.

  Solution

  Femlins, hemline

• 129. PHONETIC REVERSAL (6, *5) (*5 = LIGHT = not MW)

  If, in a millennium, you
  Were to meet a deliveritrix who
  Was genetically deviant by
  Dint of having the TILE for one eye,
  I suggest you address her as “LIGHT.”
  I’d bet quite a bit you’d be right.

  Solution

  allele, Leela

• 130. TRANSPOSAL (^7 *8, 7 8) (TIN = ^7 *8 = not MW; NIT = NI3)

  Some Power has possessed
  My neighbor Raymond Coffin
  And turned him into TIN.
  Such things don’t happen often.
  His new-found superpowers
  Annoy me quite a bit,
  But no one else, it seems,
  So legally they’re a NIT.

  Solution

  Captain Universe, private nuisance

• 131. PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (9, 7)

  Tonight we laud the man who found a cure for STDs,
  So let’s all give our TOFU OAF a big clap, if you please.

  Solution

  gonorrhea, honoree

• 132. PHONETIC FALSE PLURAL (*4, 6) SECOND-LETTER CHANGE (4) HOMONYM (4, 6) (MOTE, MOAT)

  While here in FLOCK I wrote
  The flat that you now PHLOX.
  Because of LUCK and MOTE,
  We MOAT some of the LOCKs.
  Wet skies aside, I note
  That Machu Picchu rocks!

  Solution

  Peru, peruse; rain, ruin; mist, missed

• 133. PALINDROME DELETION (^5 *4) (TOUGH GUY = var.) FOURTH-SOUND CHANGE (10, 8) (ENVOI, ENJOY)

  The man in red knows what I’ll want;
  The right thing’s always in his TOY.
  It’s therefore safe to say that TOUGH GUY
  Has an ENVOI for ENJOY.

  Solution

  Saint Nick, sack; prescience, presents

• 134. LETTER BANK (9, 13, 16) (ROTARY DRILL = 13)

  The finest private schooling
  In both ROTARY DRILL and law,
  Prepared me as a diplomat,
  But I’ve a hidden flaw.
  For years I’ve been addicted,
  Although no one knows the truth.
  Each icy night, alone, I pop
  TOROIDALLY, forsooth.
  I pray to all the gods that be
  (IDOLATRY’s my shield),
  That I can break this curse and my
  Cruel vice won’t be revealed.

  (cowritten with Lirath, as TINRATH)

  Solution

  pantheism, statesmanship, methamphetamines

• 135. REPEATED-SOUND DELETION (7, 5)

  In one class in law school, my final exam
  Required my writing a SMALL
  Contrasting the prospect of going out BIG
  With times where’s there’s no will at all.

  Solution

  testate, essay

• 136. ALTERNADE (8 4) (ONE = *4 = not MW; TWO = NI3)

  The Anglo-Saxon bouncer,
  Asked the key to his success,
  Would often THREE this ALL OF THEM
  That’s based on how folks dress:
  If clad in ONE or in Chanel
  They’re in, for they impress;
  But TWOs attired in laborer’s garb,
  Their entry he’d suppress.

  Solution

  decision tree, Dior, esne, cite

• 137. REVERSED PALINDROME DELETION (5 4)

  I painted some fruits
  Along with some newts.
  The title, you seek?
  It’s ^PEACOCK with ^PEAK.

  Solution

  Still Life, efts

• 138. LETTER BANK (10, 2-4-2-4, 16) (REF, FREE = NI3; REEFER = 16 = NI2)

  “Do not approach a person who
  Is walking in a state of sleep
  Unless you have with you some REEFER”
  Is a rule I like to keep.
  Salts of acids, mixed, from elements
  Forty-one and seventy-three
  Will blunt the shock of sudden rousing;
  Absent them, a REF is FREE.

  Solution

  noctambule, un-come-at-able, columbotantalate

• 139. PALINDROME DELETION (10)

  I bandaged the LED
  (From a slip with a scimitar)
  With a LEERED dressing LED
  ’Bout my forearm’s perimeter.

  Solution

  wraparound, wound

• 140. OVERLOADED TERMINAL LETTER CHANGE (*8, 8)

  Read The Little Mermaid and I venture
  That you’ll enjoy this DOUBLED-UP adventure.

  Solution

  Andersen, undersea

• 141. TERMINAL-SOUND CHANGE (9) (TWO = non-MW phrase, enumeration withheld)

  Once I wrote, for films’ releases,
  Pensive, slow piano pieces
  Hoping that they might be used in spy flicks.
  But I was told, by folks who knew,
  That ONE don’t work in films like TWO,
  Thus my first bond with cinema was (sigh) nixed.

  Solution

  nocturnes, Dr. No

• 142. PALINDROME DELETION (9) (BYTES = 9 = NI3 var. of 11C word)

  Someone help me kill these mites.
  I need a BITS to tote the BYTES.

  Solution

  acaricide, aide

• 143. REVERSED FIRST-TO-SIXTH CHANGEOVER (8) (clued in order)

  My neighbor’s rather whiny.
  His wails could fill a tome.
  One day he borrowed my mower
  And sobbed the whole way home.
  He’s kept it for ten years now;
  I ask for it, he moans.
  So now I’m left with no choice but
  To sue that SNORT for TONES.

  Solution

  sniveler, replevin

• 144. PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (9, 4)

  We brought home a pup to our spread, Mayer’s Ranch.
  He’s short and he’s long and he’s ours.
  But how were we ever supposed to have known
  That Oscar had magical powers?
  While driving to town on a muddy dirt road,
  Our cart got bogged down in the mire.
  But Oscar jumped out and he wiggled his nose,
  And cleaved as he grew six feet higher!
  The FARMERS had turned to a proud brace of ARMOR
  And, yoked, pulled our cart from the muck.
  We’ve never told anyone what he can do,
  Or how we that day got unstuck.

  (cowritten with Lirath, as TINRATH)

  Solution

  dachshund, oxen

• 145. TRANSPOSAL (12, 5 1’5’1) (SECOND = inferable from findable material)

  At the local mental ward
  The treatment plan is on the board:
  Dawn is counseling, noon is meds;
  SECOND FIRST; then dinner, beds.

  Solution

  electroshock, three o'clock's

• 146. REVERSED FIFTH-TO-FIRST CHANGEOVER (9)

  Even if a FORWARD’s closeness
  Causes you some aches,
  Please don’t try to RETROGRADE
  By slamming on your brakes.

  Solution

  tailgater, retaliate

• 147. LETTER BANK WNFR (4 5, *7 ^8) (4 5 = findable; *7 ^8 = not MW)

  Loretta Lynn’s dad toured the Washington Mall . . .

  Solution

  coal miner, Lincoln Memorial

• 148. TRANSPOSAL (4 7, 2 2 3 4) (FOUR WORDS = NI3-findable)

  The selfless tycoon traded shares round the world;
  He was FOUR WORDS in stock, one might say.
  He left it behind and worked down at the TWO WORDS,
  Assisting poor souls every day.
  Last week, in the back room, he slipped and he landed
  Feet first in a five-foot-tall vat.
  And so he was FOUR WORDS in stock once again,
  But this time quite literally that.

  Solution

  soup kitchen, up to his neck

• 149. TRANSPOSAL (6 7, 7 6) (LEAP = NI3)

  Each year companies file their PLEA,
  But not so LEAPs, like you and me.

  Solution

  annual reports, natural person

• 150. PHONETIC DOUBLE-CROSS (*3 *6, 4, *3-*4, 7) (PROFESSOR CRANE, IN LITTLE MORE THAN SUMMER, A BRAIN, AMMO) (*3 *6, *3-*4 = not MW; would probably not be sung by PROFESSOR CRANE)

  I could while away the hours
  Conferrin’ with the flowers,
  Consultin’ with the rain.
  Or I could look at people’s asses
  Through my stylish tinted glasses
  If I only had A BRAIN.
  Exams could all be beaten
  And no one’d catch me cheatin’
  If shades I could retain.
  With my eyes all a-hidden
  I could peek at things unbidden
  If I only had A BRAIN.
  Oh, I could tell you why
  The ocean’s near the shore:
  That’s where volleyball is played IN LITTLE MORE
  THAN SUMMER clothes.
  “Sure, I’ll keep score!”
  I could add beret and camo,
  Impersonate an AMMO,
  And hop a subway train.
  I could dance and be merry
  As I make commuting scary
  If I only had A BRAIN.

  (cowritten with Cramerica, as TIN HARMONICA)

  Solution

  Ray Bolger, sans, Ray-Bans, soldier

• 151. REVERSED MUTUAL REPLACEMENT (6)

  If rice and seafood are for you,
  A foreign dish like ONE will TWO.

  Solution

  paella, appeal

• 152. REPEATED-BIGRAM DELETION (3 6, 5) (MAINLINE = not MW; MALE = NI3 form of 11C word)

  To keep your engine running clearly,
  Change your MAINLINE MALE than yearly.

  Solution

  oil filter, ofter

• 153. PHONETIC METATHESIS (8, 6) (CARB = 8)

  If you go from CARB to dark
  The pupils of your eyes will BARK.

  Solution

  daylight, dilate

• 154. CONSONANTCY (8, 8)

  A lion must take down a zebra
  With a run and a jump and a swipe.
  Any lion that can’t do that TEEPEE
  Might be forced to turn into a TYPE.

  Solution

  maneuver, omnivore

• 155. PALINDROME DELETION WNFR (*5 *5) (ONE = not MW; TWO = *)

  “The movie was terrible, awful, atrocious,
  Alarming, deplorable, bad . . .”

  Solution

  Roger Ebert, Roget

• 156. OVERLOADED TRANSPOSAL (6-4, *3 *7) (*3 *7 = not MW)

  Higgledy-Piggledy,
  New show on NBC,
  My Dad Is Better Than
  Your Dad, is lame;
  Reaches new depths in its
  Unwatchability,
  Maybe because the host’s
  ONE AND THE SAME.

  Solution

  second-rate, Dan Cortese

• 157. OVERLOADED REVERSED BEHEADMENT (5)

  My trusted friend Morton’s the greatest of chaps,
  He’s always come through for me, ever since birth.
  This one time he gave me a book of world maps.
  I often rely on that SPIN of the earth.

  Solution

  atlas, salt

• 158. OVERLOADED SPOONERGRAM (6 4 4, 6 4 4) (middle word does not change)

  A fragile and pileous wicked thing I store
  Inside this container marked “SIX FOUR AND FOUR.”

  Solution

  handle with care, candle with hair

• 159. DELETION (2-3, 4)

  Up front at the doc’s they always make
  A TIE of the card from my insurer.
  Then later, before I leave, they take
  My TIME, so I always end up poorer.

  Solution

  co-pay, copy

• 160. PHONETIC TRANSPOGRAM (7, ^3 *1*1) (ELF = ^3 *1*1 = not MW)

  The horror flick was scary
  But the plot should be retooled.
  I FELL the end to ELF just
  Halfway through, so wasn’t fooled.

  Solution

  foresaw, Saw IV

• 161. TERMINAL-LETTER CHANGE (9, ^5 ^4) (ZEN = ^5 ^4 = not quite MW)

  I dislike being on the board with Brett,
  Who gloats whenever he completes a set.
  Just yesterday he had three railroads, then
  I heard him MEW when he acquired ZEN.

  Solution

  chortling, Short Line

• 162. TRANSPOSAL (12, *5 *7) (ONE = NI2)

  The Plaza de Acho in Lima, Peru,
  Was home to the earliest ONE held in TWO.

  Solution

  tauromachies, South America

• 163. OVERLOADED REVERSED FIRST-TO-SECOND CHANGEOVER (6)

  After the séance we plastered the walls.
  Yes, we’re big fans of the NIAGARA FALLS.

  Solution

  occult, stucco

• 164. REVERSED DELETION (8) (MOOLA = NI3+) HETERONYM (7, *7)(MOO LA = not MW)

  The wife of the boss of the aunt of my friend
  Will be throwing a birthday soiree.
  (I certainly tried MOOLA all those ABLOOMs,
  But without them I couldn’t convey
  What I meant.) And the wife’s been MOO LA the whole gang,
  As I learned on my laptop today.

  Solution

  genitive, eviting; eviting, Eviting

• 165. PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (7, 5)

  I went to fill my fancy glass
  With what they deemed PERNOD.
  While it had wine and juice, alas,
  No hint of fizz did show.
  I’m URN at this sheer lack of class;
  My top’s about to blow!
  (cowritten with Lirath, as TINRATH)

  Solution

  sangria, angry

• 166. REVERSED DELETION (8)

  Malaysian fashion’s made it to Milan,
  And all the NOSY now are wearing YON.

  Solution

  signoras, sarongs

• 167. OVERLOADED SIXTH-TO-LAST CHANGEOVER (5 4, ^5 ^4)

  Baseball’s finally made it to Tibet,
  But there have been no HOT DOG sightings yet.

  Solution

  grand slam, Grand Lama

• 168. ISOMORPH (15, 7 8) (ONE WORD = NI3)

  Some people are religious, and some folks will classify
  Being neutral toward religion as a code that they live by.
  And when our schools (correctly) use a non-religious eye,
  Some true believers want their views taught equally, they cry,
  To counter so-called TWO-WORD PHRASE they say the schools supply.
  And me? Well, puzzles come from somewhere, ergo that is why
  I here profess belief in some great ONE WORD in the sky.

  Solution

  enigmatographer, secular humanism

• 169. TRANSPOSAL (13, 8 5) (CLARET = 8 5 = NI3)

  I place the diamond in the right-hand pan,
  And then the orange taproot in the left.
  But no, the scale tips sharply to one side
  Because the vegetable has too much heft.
  Unfazed, I slice the rabbit food in two,
  And thereby learn it just CARTEL the CLARET.
  And from this trial and error I conclude
  My carboniferous gem weighs half a carrot.

  Solution

  counterpoises, precious stone

• 170. FIRST-TO-LAST-SOUND CHANGEOVER (9, 8) (ONE = NI3+)

  The price of coconut should climb,
  So TWOs will cost more ONEs, in time.

  Solution

  smackeroo, macaroon

• 171. PHONETIC TRANSPOGRAM (7, 3 5) (TRUCKS = 3 5 = NI3)

  I lead the group with Nash,
  But he spares no expense
  And spends committee cash
  Like dollars were just cents.
  To meet with folks offshore
  His travel was deluxe,
  While I, his STRUCK, much more
  Cost-consciously chose TRUCKS.

  Solution

  cochair, air coach

• 172. PHRASE SOUND SHIFT (6 3)

  At the zoo in Iceland
  (Near Blafjoll, where there’s snow)
  A sickly hawk was crying,
  Whose cage was locked, and so
  His ills could not be tended
  Until, at the chalet,
  The zoo-keep, off the slopes now,
  Produced the only WAY.

  Solution

  osprey key [from apres ski]

• 173. REVERSED PHONETIC CHARADE (4-3)

  We voted for our favorite side;
  The count was 5 to 4.
  Potato salad RAWly won
  And LUG was the GALORE.

  Solution

  also-ran, slaw, narrow

• 174. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (10 4)

  The charged part of helium’s
  Seen-through-the-looking-glass
  Counterpart’s nucleus
  Is a rare COOKING CLASS.

  Solution

  antiproton pair

• 175. TERMINAL DELETION (5, *3) (BOTH, THREE) HETERONYM (5, *5) (BOTH, FIVE) (BOTH = overloaded; THREE FIVE = not MW)

  It was in the ’70s when, on the air,
  This actress (just one of the bunch) showed her flair.
  But now she’s a contractor, and with great care,
  THREE FIVE uses BOTHs to keep things (mid-left?) square.

  Solution

  level, Eve; plumb, Plumb

• 176. TRANSPOSAL WNFR (12, 7 5) (7 5 = inferable)

  Each full moon, the witloof ...

  Solution

  lycanthropic, chicory plant

• 177. REVERSED DELETION (8) (7 = NI3)

  
  (From the September 2008 Enigma)

  Solution

  telethon, notelet

• 178. INTERLOCK (*1*1*5) (everything non-MW or non-MW usage)

  Motoring with Tinhorn from the Inverness Hotel.
  Where’s that dratted airport? Neither he nor I can tell.
  We overshoot, and now we’re on the highway to hell.
  Time to face the music, and I know just what to do.
  Tin maintains a half-stiff upper lip. Out of the blue,
  He says to put on *O*N/*E when my more classic *T*W*O is through.
  More time. Zoom. I wish I were a mere fly on the wall.
  Then on the third day, back in black-bile moods, we start to stall.
  Discovery: our options few, we take the car to ALL.

  (cowritten with Wrybosh, as TINOSH)

  Solution

  ACDelco, AC/DC, ELO
  (album titles appear in the verse)

• 179. FIRST-TO-LAST-SOUND CHANGEOVER (7, 8)

  “Why not put down your subtraction
  And let’s multiply,” I said.
  But, nonplussed, she missed my ANGST
  And just reduced her BANGS instead.

  Solution

  innuendo, minuend

• 180. CONSONANTCY (3-4, 7) (OPEN, PONY)

  I bill myself out as
  An animal psychic.
  When you see my act, then
  You’ll know there’s none like it.

  A card trick’s performed
  With my cohorts in tandem.
  The spotted cat studies
  A card drawn at random.

  He whispers it into
  The elephant’s ear
  While I watch cross the room
  But for certain can’t hear.

  Then we all concentrate
  And — insert mystic pause —
  I guess the card smugly,
  To thunderous applause.

  (The secret, of course,
  Is that I’m a big phony.
  I’ve no psychic gift,
  I just OPEN the PONY.)

  Solution

  lip-read, leopard

• 181. REVERSED PHONETIC PASTEOVER (9, 6)

  In Titanic (spoiler alert!)
  Hundreds FURL in one big FLIRT.

  Solution

  shipwreck, perish

• 182. PHONETIC DELETION (8, 7’1)

  We’ve concert seats this evening,
  But my wife’s ear ring has flared,
  And thus, because of her PATROL,
  PAROLE plans are impaired.

  Solution

  tinnitus, tonights

• 183. TRANSPOSAL (10)

  He practiced and he practiced
  Raising tempo, playing faster,
  As the score before him prompted,
  So there would be no disaster.
  And, by keeping nose to SARI,
  Playing AIRS he’d finally master.

  Solution

  grindstone, stringendo

• 184. TRANSPOSAL (9, 5 4)

  I should have used deodorant
  Before that lengthy set —
  Five hours beating a SECOND
  And my FIRST are soaking wet.

  Solution

  underarms, snare drum

• 185. TRANSPOSAL (12, 7 5) (7 5 = NI3; can be sung)

  You load sixteen tons, and what do you get?
  Another day older and deeper in debt.
  The pittance that they pay me’s not THE TWELVE for my time.
  I owe my soul to the TWO-WORD PHRASE RHYME.

  Solution

  compensatory, company store

• 186. CHANGE ’N’ SWAP (8) (STEREO, thanks to Irving Berlin)

  “When I’m worried and I can’t sleep
  I count my OYSTERs instead of sheep . . .”

  (first appearance of a Change 'N' Swap flat)

  Solution

  blessing, singable

• 187. TRANSPOSAL WNFR (*7, 7) (*7 = usage in NI2 phrase; 7 = NI3)

  I listen to Handel when hitting my five-irons . . .

  Solution

  Messiah, mashies

• 188. ISOMORPH (9) (both NI3; can be sung to the tune of “La ^BEAUTIFUL”)

  The Spanish real,
  Old Spanish real,
  Started life out as a slug.
  Once in New England
  They called it “SWINGLAND,”
  And this song’s about a bug.

  Solution

  cucaracha, ninepence

• 189. PHONIGMATIC REBUS (9)

  
  We went to Rome, my wife and I,
  The first week of September.
  Those lovely days were followed by
  A cruise we’ll both remember.

  In Rome, we went on walking tours,
  On cobblestones galore.
  Throughout the city’s grand allures
  My feet and back were sore.

  We then left Rome to meet the boat
  But toured, along the way,
  An ancient city of some note —
  Rome’s port, back in the day.

  We walked some miles in ruins and sun,
  On cobblestones again — grr!
  When what occurred to me? A pun,
  As joints once more were tender.

  I told my wife, “I sure could use
  A BREAK,” and snapped the shot
  You see above. And on our cruise
  This flat, dear Krewe, was wrought.

  Solution

  osteopath (Ostia path)

• 190. REVERSED REPEATED-BIGRAM DELETION (9)

  The Python boys would sing all day
  Of jacks who prance, wear lingerie.
  But you won’t find a real ONE who
  Does that — such guys are therefore TWO.

  Solution

  shantyman, myths

• 191. WORD DELETION (9)

  RE at the start, it might be THE;
  RE near the end, it might be THREE.

  Solution

  semifinal; if, seminal

• 192. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (5-3-3 9) (5-3-3 = NI3)

  Through frost and drought and rust and pests
  My grapes are still alive.
  While others’ whites and reds are scarce,
  Thanks to my FRIENDS I thrive.

  Solution

  never-say-die vineyards

• 193. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (*8)

  I’m gluing this chair on the fourth of this month;
  It needs forty-eight hours to dry.
  And since we’ll have company over SHEATH night,
  I sure hope the chair’s SEAT thereby.

  Solution

  Saturday, sturdy

• 194. PHONETIC BEHEADMENT (5, 7)

  At first a building’s GWENed.
  It’s then WHEN in the end.

  Solution

  erect, wrecked

• 195. FALSE OPPOSITE (12, 11) (HIT, MISS)

  The health police are knocking at my door.
  So what if someone’s cleanliness is poor?
  The roaches got disgusted, so they’re gone.
  I keep my chickens off the neighbor’s lawn.
  A virus must’ve gotten all the mice;
  Each month, I spend a day removing lice.
  I took the garbage out sometime in May.
  I never use the plumbing anyway.
  So, pah! I MISS upon your stupid HIT.
  (Those folks don’t look too happy ’bout my spit . . .)

  (cowritten with Tahnan, as TINHNAN)

  Solution

  inspectorate, expectorate

• 196. OVERLOADED THIRD-LETTER CHANGE (6, 3 3)

  I have programmed F1 through F4 so I can
  With just one single touch open up, per my plan,
  Online websites of Sharks, Ducks, Coyotes, and Pan-
  Thers. I guess you can tell I’m a real TURBO fan.

  Solution

  hockey, hot key

• 197. PHONETIC TRANSPOSAL (10, 9) (clued in order)

  When forming at the potter’s wheel
  Be cool and not in haste,
  For DOCILE only leads to SOLID
  Works, and that’s a waste.

  Solution

  impatience, misshapen

• 198. DELETION (8)

  This true, but unwritten, tale’s sure to astound:
  It was Smaug and Smaug Jr. both flying around
  On that one fateful day when the twosome were downed
  And sank into Long Lake where they finally drowned.
  Eventually, using a POND, townsfolk found
  Smaug’s remains, but they never did locate the POUND.

  Solution

  dragonet, dragnet

• 199. REVERSED MUTUAL REPLACEMENT (9)

  The new Danielle Steel book’s a real risqué bet.
  It is, by all REGNANT, the TANAGER yet.

  Solution

  estimates, steamiest

• 200. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (*4 *4 10) (*4 *4 = part of 11C phrase)

  Let’s go and watch the Jazz for some
  Great CHLORINATED SODIUM.

  Solution

  Salt Lake basketball

• 201. LAST-SOUND CHANGE (6, 7) (clued in order)

  Quite nice having him in L.A.
  Ask our vote, and it’s “yes” that we’ll say.
  Quit the Florida shelf,
  And did thus BYE himself,
  Questing westward. Angelenos all BAY.

  (For a friend who moved from Florida to L.A.)

  Solution

  uproot, approve

• 202. REVERSED TERMINAL DELETION (9) (MEOWS = NI3)

  If you have nodules of the skin
  Then visit quirky House. Although
  He’ll show a new MEOWS every hour
  At least he’ll find what caused your WOE.

  Solution

  idiocrasy, sarcoidi

• 203. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (*6 *5) (LINENS = not MW)

  The island baseball season’s done
  And once again the women won!
  In voting for the Golden Glove
  The wife and farm gal saw no love,
  For like the skip, tycoon, and prof
  They dropped pop flies, their throws were off.
  No, only LINENS wound up LIES,
  And thus took home the fielding prize.
  (The first mate got no votes, but that’s
  Because he umped and had no stats.)

  Solution

  Ginger Grant, inerrant

• 204. PHONETIC CURTAILMENT (9, 3 4) (MINE = 3 4 = not MW)

  Twelve straight hours of puzzles
  Makes one’s peepers pretty sore,
  So now I’ll fetch some rocks
  Fresh from my MINE and have a pour,
  In hopes this cures my MYNA,
  Or at least I’ll care no more.

  Solution

  eyestrain, ice tray

• 205. PHONETIC CHOP ’N’ SWAP (9, 6)

  
  

  Solution

  arabesque, scarab

• 206. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (5 7)

  
  

  Solution

  coven invoice

• 207. TERMINAL DELETION (8)

  Here long ago there once stood LEAS of trees,
  But lumberjacks sadly have left this place PLEASE.

  Solution

  woodless, oodles

• 208. PASTEOVER (9) LETTER BANK (10, 16)

  I’m off to buy my valentine
  A gem, but which one’s right?
  The more expensive ruby
  Or the cheaper rubellite?
  I’m not a pauper; neither, though,
  Am I a REUNITE.
  Deciding, thus, between a SITH
  And TRIUNE’s quite a SIGHT.

  Solution

  conundrum, corundum; tourmaline, multimillionaire

• 209. LETTER BANK (12, 10 5) (PROPENSITY = inferable)

  My accurate brontometer
  Can measure the intensity
  Of TINY ROPES, both loud and soft,
  Right down to the PROPENSITY.

  Solution

  thunderclaps, hundredths place

• 210. OVERLOADED TRANSPOGRAM (4) (one not MW)

  The monthly payment on my well-insured house is too high,
  And thus I think the best way out for me is a GOODBYE.

  Solution

  refi, fire

• 211. TRANSPOSAL (10)

  I heard all the drips from the pipe,
  And thus was a PRIEST to the STRIPE.

  Solution

  earwitness, wateriness

• 212. REVERSED DELETION (9)

  It seems to me our storage clientele are not so smart.
  Why, they cannot tell various shelved furniture apart.
  And thus, be sure to THEM the hutches, cabinets, and MET.
  If you should mix them up, you never know what you might get!

  Solution

  segregate, etageres

• 213. TRANSPOSAL (6 4, 10) (SPRINT = 6 4 = NI3)

  When studying a slime mold, here’s a hint:
  A white light source is best. Don’t use a SPRINT,
  Or else your PRINTS will have a yellow tint.

  Solution

  sodium lamp, plasmodium

• 214. REVERSED SOUND SHIFT (5, 7)

  J.Lo set out to try FORTH, but alack,
  She couldn’t get Neoprene over her BACK.

  Solution

  scuba, caboose

• 215. TRANSPOSAL (*5 *6, 11) (CHASM = *5 *6 = not MW; MACHS = NI3)

  Amadeus, Cuckoo’s Nest,
  Ragtime, Hair, without a rest.
  I just sat there like a lox.
  All that CHASM made me MACHS.

  Solution

  Milos Forman, salmoniform

• 216. ENIGMATIC REBUS [5 8]

                    HIJKLMNO

  I like Chinese dishes,
  Especially ones with FISHes.

  Solution

  water chestnut — “H-to-O” is a puzzle chestnut about water

• 217. CONSONANTCY (*5 *1’*5, 11) (ONE = not MW)

  The new host’s hair is vivid red.
  FIRST’s trademark is his SECOND head.

  Solution

  Conan O’Brien, cinnabarine

• 218. TRANSPOSAL (*5 *1*1*1*1, 9) (MADE = 9 = NI3+)

  A king in France once had an acid mood
  And lost his head (one risk of being rude).
  His son, although imprisoned, thus displayed
  A basic temper — that is, MEAD’s was MADE.

  Solution

  Louis XVII, lixivious

• 219. REVERSED FOURTH-TO-FIFTH CHANGEOVER (*10, 10) (ONE = not precisely 11C usage, but so close)

  I expect ONE must have been quite hard put
  To go without sneezing from all that TWO soot.

  Solution

  Cinderella, allergenic

• 220. REVERSED TERMINAL-LETTER CHANGE (*6 3, 3 6) (TORUS = *6 3 = NI3; JUROR = not MW)

  I’m polishing my gnathosaurus
  Way down here in Rio.
  Using lots and lots of TORUS
  Boosts my JUROR’s brilho.

  Solution

  Brazil wax, jaw lizard

• 221. TRANSPOSAL (4 5, 9) (A = 4 5 = not MW)

  Post cereal for free?
  Perhaps, if As were B.

  Solution

  bran flake, frankable

• 222. OVERLOADED ISOMORPH (3-7, 10) (10 = NI3, 11C-inferable)

  Our clique flies round the world first class
  With kerchiefs on our heads.
  It’s plain to see we’re fashionable
  And that’s because we’re THREADS.

  Solution

  jet-setters, bandannaed

• 223. DELETION (7)

  Bernard the bee was in a major tizzy:
  “I know the saying goes we’re always busy,
  But I can’t take this constant honey makin’.
  I’d like to never visit BEACON BACON.”

  Solution

  another, anther

• 224. LETTER BANK (9, 16)

  Juliet’s LONG
  Most every night could
  Be seen as her tears
  Would soak where she stood.
  And since dampened toes
  Would make her feel vexed,
  She’d alternate SHORT
  One eve to the next.

  Solution

  balconies, inconsolableness

• 225. PHONIGMATIC REBUS (5 [2 6])

  
  I find chess to be quite dull.
  Playing makes me JETHRO TULL.

  Solution

  bored to pieces (board, two pieces)

• 226. PHONIGMATIC REBUS (7 2 5 6) (non-MW material in rubric)

                             Valiant

  At work last week I made a valiant effort
  To get our website back to working form.
  We’d lost all of our birdly GIFs and JPEGs
  Because of power surges from a storm.
  By my count some five hundred files were missing.
  I thought a bit, then knew just what to do.
  I grabbed all works by Audubon we had there,
  And with a flatbed all night long I FLEW.

  Solution

  scanned in avian prints (Valiant = Scandinavian prince)

• 227. LETTER BANK (5 3, 11) (SMALL = var. of NI3 phrase)

  Deadly fevers breaking out in Mexico and more,
  Prompting thoughts of terrorist conspiracies galore.
  Can we get the source of this SMALL epidemic solved?
  Was it simply natural or was there BIG involved?

  Solution

  swine flu, willfulness

• 228. REVERSED SECOND-TO-THIRD CHANGEOVER (8) (clued in order)

  My water gun has such a tiny tank
  And water round these parts has so much silt,
  That when I filled it, after just three pulls
  The worthless plastic toy TALK mostly KILT.

  Solution

  squirted, detritus

• 229. REVERSED PALINDROME DELETION (9)

  There being, near markets in Baghdad and such,
  A real dearth of glass windows and water,
  I’d guess that most owners of TWO won’t feel much
  Need to stock ONE, since who’d place an order?

  Solution

  squeegees, suqs

• 230. LETTER BANK (6-7; 3, 4, 3 6 10; 5 3 3 3 5 3 5) (none MW; clued in order; 3, 4, 3 6 = findable)

  A doctor who lives on my street
  Is the type of physician who’d treat
  You if you had tinnitus or strep
  Or rhinitis. Moreover, his step
  Is uneven, so he totes a cane
  Having helical grooves. It’s the bane
  Of his son, for if he makes a gaffe
  Dad will strike with his SUBJECTA staff.
  When I asked why the SCUBA JETS does,
  He smirked back, “As they say, ‘JUST BECAUSE.’”

  Solution

  spiral-notched, ear nose and throat specialist, spare the rod and spoil the child

• 231. PALINDROME DELETION (9)

  I cover my cheese with a wrap that has GRANDs;
  It lets in the air while it keeps out the SANS.

  Solution

  micropore, mice

• 232. REVERSED ISOMORPH (12, 7 5) (clued in order)

  The burglar snuck into
  The medium’s window
  And DAIQUIRI NINTENDO.

  Solution

  appropriated, crystal balls

• 233. REVERSED PHONETIC BEHEADMENT (7, 5)

  Whiskey makes me ramble on.
  I’m much less HITHER when I’m YON.

  Solution

  verbose, sober

• 234. PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (3 4, 5) (JOURNEY = findable)

  Two decades back a JOURNEY
  EARNed a job to me, and so
  I’ve worked as an attorney
  Ever since. Where does time go?

  Solution

  law firm, offer

• 235. INTERLOCK (7) (AT BAT = NI3 usage; *T*A*T = all-caps abbr.)

  Gym class can help burn off fat.
  Through TAT, you’ll say “AB!” to AT BAT.

  Solution

  adipose, adios, PE

• 236. ENIGMATIC REBUS (’^3 ^5) (reading has abbr.)

                            ~hit

  It’s more or less a hit,
  The Fox sitcom called MELON,
  Which stars some stars once seen
  On Raymond and on Ellen.

  Solution

  ’Til Death (tilde at H)

• 237. REVERSED PASTEOVER INFW (*2 *6, 3 4) (ONE = not MW; TWO = findable)

  I’m caught up in a Honeymooners
  Marathon and so ...

  Solution

  Ed Norton, not done

• 238. MUTUAL REPLACEMENT (*10, 10) (both NI3)

  Higgledy-Piggledy
  Mutual replacement fans,
  Here’s a ten-letter one
  For you to read:
  ONE describes folks who are
  Premonstratensian;
  TWO’s a green mineral
  Named for a Swede.

  Solution

  Norbertine, torbernite

• 239. REVERSED REPEATED TRIGRAM DELETION (11) (ACE = NI3)

  ACE is a DEUCE
  Some botanists use
  That’s apt to confuse
  The mes and the yous.

  Solution

  phytography, argot

• 240. SPOONERGRAM (4 5, 7 4)

  
  

  Solution

  pita chips, cheetah pips

• 241. OVERLOADED FOURTH SOUND CHANGE (7, 6)

  A shamrock has murdered my brother
  But I’d like to put that in the past.
  So I wander the streets with an herbicide,
  Just hoping to get that AGHAST.

  Solution

  closure, clover

• 242. FIFTH-LETTER CHANGE (8) (PRONG = inferable)

  If the present you bring me is not from the list,
  I will wrap it and pass it along,
  For I’m PRONEd at three stores, so it’s easy for you,
  And you know I’m an infamous PRONG.

  Solution

  register, regifter

• 243. TRANSPOSAL (8 5, 7 6) (neither MW)

  Is it getting warm out here
  Or is it only me?
  And is it due to compounds dumped
  Into the air and sea?
  Such compounds drive reactions
  While some people still debate
  Whether ONEs cause TWO or whether
  Weather shift’s just fate.

  Solution

  chemical agent, cimate change

• 244. ACROSTICAL ENIGMA (6)

  A. By toast alone. Double your fun.
  Like a rock. Think outside the bun.
  B. A diamond is forever. StarKist desires
  Fish that tastes good. So much rides on your tires.
  C. Say it with flowers. Obey your thirst.
  We try harder. Got milk? People first.

  The other white meat. No more tears.
  Come see the softer side of Sears.

  Solution

  RUby = rock (as in “gem”)
  SHad = fish
  ESsay = try
  RUSHES = tears (as in “moves quickly”)

• 245. PHONETIC BEHEADMENT (4 6, *5’1) (ANNETTE = synecdochic usage; NET = not MW)

  When it comes to dressing
  On the All My Children set,
  Most castmates like Italian
  Whereas NET choice is ANNETTE.

  Solution

  blue cheese, Lucci’s

• 246. LETTER BANK (8, ^3 ^8)

  Years ago, Katharine Ross
  Played an OSCAR in ACROSS.

  Solution

  daughter, The Graduate

• 247. SPOONERGRAM (8 4, 6 5)

  In this flat I offer up
  A cautionary tale:
  Playing football in the desert’s
  Almost sure to fail.
  A week ago our punter warmed up
  With a pre-game ONE.
  The game was called because the ball
  Came down upon a DONE.

  Solution

  practice kick, cactus prick

• 248. LETTER BANK (5-5, *5 ^5 ^3 ^4) (THREAT = not MW)

  Goldblum traveled HEART and met
  Davis long ago in THREAT.

  Solution

  light-years, Earth Girls Are Easy

• 249. TRANSPOSAL WNFR (14, 9 5) (TWO = inferable)

  This peach orchard’s been here for 600 years ...

  Solution

  tercentenaries, nectarine trees

• 250. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (10 2 1 5 4) (2 1 5 4 = findable)

  While we think that splitting up sibs is untoward,
  One single pup’s all we these days can afford.
  So we’ll take one home with us now, while intending,
  Finances permitting, to pick up his SPENDING.

  Solution

  littermate at a later time

• 251. THIRD-TO-FOURTH CHANGEOVER (7, *7)

  Born around 1815.
  Led the Apaches. Was seen
  In photos with lengthy black hair.
  Burned in the Bascomb Affair.
  Captured. Escaped. And some more.
  Then died a bit shy of threescore.
  And that is a pretty UNSTAINED
  Report on the life of UNTRAINED.

  Solution

  concise, Cochise

• 252. TERMINAL-LETTER CHANGE (8)

  Though I can’t play the oboe or flute,
  Getting on the ONE section’s not moot.
  We try out ’hind a drape,
  So I’ll sneak in a tape
  And I’ll TWO the conductor this route.

  Solution

  woodwind, hoodwink

• 253. LETTER BANK (9 5, 10 7) (DEN = not MW)

  I’ve drawn up a contract
  To teach you to play,
  Using six-string and slide, like a pro.
  I’ve studied the NEED
  Of most country-blues stars.
  Put your mark on the DEN and let’s go.

  Solution

  signature block, bottleneck guitars

• 254. TRANSPOSAL (8) (YAM = NI3)

  I tried to steal some fritters from
  The Honeycomb Café.
  The workers sharply flew at me —
  I left with YAMs, not MAY.

  (Cowritten with Jangler in July 2010)

  Solution

  beesting, beignets

• 255. PHONIGMATIC REBUS (7)

  Hawaii

  A hula, done slow,
  Can HAWAII me so.

  Solution

  beguile (Big Isle)

• 256. LETTER BANK (8, 11)

  I didn’t read the footnote
  Cause I’d overlooked the LEDGE,
  So I baked it without foil
  And thus burned my first GELD’s edge.

  Solution

  piecrust, superscript

• 257. WELDED TRANSPOSAL ([5 9] 8 4)

  The ileocecal valve
  Marks the end of the ileum, sure.
  Looking forward, though, I think
  Of it more like the OH HOW MATURE.

  Solution

  large intestine starting line

• 258. LETTER BANK (8, 14)

  Good Rosencrantz and Guildenstern did strain
  To glean what might afflict the doleful Dane.
  But not with friendship did this pair concern;
  King Claudius controlled their ev’ry turn.
  To England aides and Hamlet were dispatched,
  Where Hamlet’s time on Earth would soon be scratched.
  Inept, though, these two minions proved to be,
  And Hamlet switched instructions while at sea.
  And, being maladroit, the servants ne’er
  Discovered this and met their deaths unfair.
  The MOOT, thus, of the TOM had made them late,
  And sealed, or rather stoppered up, their fate.

  Solution

  flunkies, unskillfulness

• 259. HETERONYM (5 5, 4 2 1 3) (clued in order)

  My pre-teen family picnics I
  Recall, with sides impressing --
  Like penne, olives, peppers, tossed
  In vinegary dressing.
  These days I get nostalgic
  At the merest little sensing
  Of fresh TEN SING, which always will
  Remind me of my TENSING.

  Solution

  pasta salad, past as a lad

• 260. PADLOCK (5, 7; 4)

  (can be sung to The Arky Arky Song,
  which in turn is to the tune of Rise And Shine)
  When Noah, good Noah, completed the arky arky
  And got the fauna to start to embarky barky,
  A spiked creature made his marky marky.
  Noah, he was gored.

  That made a hole in poor Noah’s clothesy clothesy.
  Needle and thread? They hadn’t brought thosey thosey.
  Noah, peeved, sailed with a POSTEM POSY.
  The SYSTEM was kicked off board.

  Solution

  tunic, unicorn; torn

• 261. CONSONANTCY (6, 9) (clued in order)

  In Logan’s Run, the powers all
  Arrange to keep the masses small.
  When folks attain a certain age,
  With Carousel they must engage.
  The few who choose, when YORK, to run
  Are stopped by Sandmen with a gun.
  One wonders if our pols regret
  That they don’t have such RAKE. Well, yet.

  Solution

  thirty, authority

These were played in the April Fools issues — there's more to these than meets the eye.

• R-1. REVERSED TERMINAL DELETION (11, 3)

  Gym teachers' salaries once again fell
  And so as a SHORT to that throng,
  At ten after three (that is, after the bell)
  They get one hours' play on the LONG.

  Solution

  trampolines, sop (T-E-R-M-I-N-A-L are deleted)

• R-2. DELETION (4) (HERE = findable)

  I bought myself some brand new gear
  To run a better time this year.
  I'm tired of bringing up the rear;
  I hope to go from THERE to HERE.

  Solution

  last, lst

• R-3. ACROSTICAL ENIGMA (9) (C = NI2; D = NI2 usage of NI3 word)

  A. Lines, a few, about this time
  That serves up nutty treats in rhyme.

  B. As sympathy is not the mission,
  Tricks will test one’s erudition.

  C. His only task, for thirty days,
  Is cracking wise (to coin a phrase).

  D. Ostensibly, our Ralf just might
  Leave burning feelings left and right.

  But April will be done too soon.
  It’s back to square come May and June.

  Solution

  PR(A)lines, EM(B)assy, AT(C)hison, URE(D)os = PREMATURE

• R-4. BACKSWITCH (6)

  As contractors frame the top story,
  Joe sits there to sketch what they raise.
  He captures the floors and walls ably,
  But fails when he Bs those darn As.

  Solution

  rafter, render (AFT to END)

• R-5. REVERSED REPEATED-REVERSED-LETTER DELETION (7)

  My penmanship is poor
  But like John H. I’ve learned:
  If it’s not very FORWARD,
  At least make sure it’s TURNED.

  Solution

  legible, big  ..... twice delete LE = "reversed el"

• R-6. CHARADE (5, 7) (SECOND = NI3)

  The water was cold
  When the FIRST ONE went in.
  He exited SECOND
  Much to his chagrin.

  Solution

  diver, ashiver; CHAR A "DE" = turn a D to ASH

See the NPL Guide for an explanation of these puzzle types.

• VERTICAL ANAQUIP (4 4 2 7 4 4 2 10 7. 11, 2'1 5 9.)

  A B E E E E F H I K L L L M N O R R S T T T W Y
  A E C H N O I A O L E F O S R Y H R N M T U P T
  N F R L O Y C Y R H V E U E E L E U A L D T E S

  Solution

  Last week my brother fell into an upholsterymachine. Fortunately, he's fully recovered.

• VERTICAL ANAQUIP (*7 7 3 2 10 10 5 4 2 7 2 4 1 5 3 2 1 3.)

  A A C D E E E F F I I I K M N N N O P R R R R S S S
  I K V T E H L C I A E H V E B E W R N A H O R A I M
  U O P A R T H T I A G T A O E D U B F O A L L T N A

  Solution

  Skinner carried off an impressive behavioral trickwhen he managed to pull a habit out of a rat.

• PIECEMEAL CIRCLE (6-letter words; each trigram has been alphabetized;
  thus TRA would be listed as ART)

  ABL ACR AHL ALT BOX CEI
  ELT ENT ERV ESV ILS NOT

  Solution

  BAL LET HAL VES TAL ENT ICE BOX CAR TON SIL VER (BAL)

• PIECEMEAL CIRCLE (alternating 6-letter and 8-letter words)

  BA CE DE GA FI LA LE LI LI MA
  ME NE NO NU RE SA SE TE TE VI

  Solution

  CELIBATE TENURE REDEFINE NEGATE TELEVISE SESAME MELANOMA MALICE

• VOWELLESS DOUBLE WORD SQUARE

  ACROSS

  1. Meat slicery
  2. Puts one over the other
  3. Popular sandwich
  4. Quilts
  5. Gunner
  6. Infightings
  7. Kills a big one

  DOWN

  1. Does not agree
  2. Swelling from lymphatic blockage
  3. How some like their PB&J
  4. Ends of the trees
  5. Genderless crimefighter?
  6. Homework, e.g.
  7. Frivolity

  Solution

  D L C T S S N
  S P R M P S S
  C H S B R G R
  C N T R P N S
  R T L L R M N
  D S S N S N S
  S S S S N T S
  

  ACROSS: delicatessen, superimposes, cheeseburger, counterpanes,
  artilleryman, dissensions, assassinates
  DOWN: disaccords, elephantiasis, crustless, timberlines,
  superperson, assignment, unseriousness

• PHONETIC DOUBLE SQUARE

  Across:

  1. Manner
  2. Occupational skirt
  3. Pale
  4. Spirited, used especially of animals

  Down:

  1. Unaccompanied
  2. It sometimes follows a comeback
  3. Unspecified grocery purchase
  4. Nuts

  Solution

  S   T   aye L
  T   oo  T   oo
  a   SH  uh  N
  G   ay  M   ee
  

  ACROSS: style, tutu, ashen, gamey
  DOWN: stag, touche, item, loony

• BIDIRECTIONAL DOUBLE LEFT CAMBRIDGE HEXAGON (words can be entered into the grid backwards or forwards)

  Across:

  1. Parts of ranges
  2. Fit in
  3. Speechifying
  4. Breaking out
  5. Toothed edge
  6. Yelps
  7. Discarded peels
  8. Taxman, for example
  9. Bright aquarium fish

  Down:

  1. Woodwind instruments
  2. Poems
  3. Sheet material
  4. Like a certifier’s register
  5. Shelled reptiles
  6. Ousting
  7. Beauty salon procedure
  8. One who extorts
  9. Burning with malice

  Solution

  OVENS
  BELONG
  ORATING
  ESCAPING
  SERRATION
   SEIRCTUO
    PARINGS
     LEVIER
      TETRA

• CRYPTOGRAM

  Cheers!

  FCXDM CFBXD IXWJP WXICZ VDFIH OUDMZ OUFRZ KDXIH DEBPM
  FOMXD METHZ BYXHM BEOMH IPUCX PUYHX MPEDV DUYWV.

  Solution

  Alert lager wench newly draws fortyfoamy brews right after tipsy guestgifts whole house third round.

• CRYPTOGRAM

  Keeping them humble.

  MA PDOGNK, HG *INKHY GILDKWRHT WHIHZSO OTHESO ISWSHGSZ
  GN ELPGNILNDO PNKKHYZSIO: "ISKSKMSI, AND HIS KNIGHT."

  Solution

  By custom, at Roman triumphal parades slaves repeated to victorious commanders: "Remember, you are mortal."

• CRYPTOGRAM

  A questionable fill.

  BHJFP AOFDW JRDSZ HWRNZ MTPSJ EYXHW XWFLZ AOFDR
  EDOXJ VDTRX QFOJX SOZTPA HBTSJR YDBTS ENTBX.

  Solution

  Mason group study aptly finds cheap epoxy grout cures quite worse drying amidst humid clime.